Surrendering the Past Read online

  “Such behavior has no place among the powerful, Wesley. Can you cease your drinking for now? We have things to discuss, and I would prefer you clear headed.”

  “As you wish, though I assure you my understanding has not been clouded by the brandy.”

  Litchfield looked at him long and hard until Wesley gave the obligatory submissive head nod. “What is it you wish to discuss, Father?”

  “Miss Dawson. I do not think it is wise for her to continue living with her uncle. It will do her no good to be influenced by those who are so beneath her future station. I plan to ask Lady Blanchard to issue an invitation for her to stay with them until the wedding. I want you to speak to Kathleen. Ask her to prepare Jane for her role as my wife.”

  “Kathleen is not yet a wife.”

  “But she is a lady. She dresses and behaves exactly as she is supposed to, unlike her elder sister. Jane could learn much from her.”

  “She certainly could.”

  Litchfield nodded. “Now, we must speak about your brother, the miserable cur. I should have drowned him in a bucket as soon as the…features began to show. He is too much like his mother’s family: prideful, ungrateful, and wild. She was quite fortunate that I took her away from the scoundrels and never allowed them to set foot on Litchfield land. It seems it was not enough, seeing he has inherited their insolence along with their dark features—so unlike you. No one could mistake you for anything other than a true Granville. You are faithful to your family duty, a credit to our name. I know you would never shame me.”

  Wesley merely nodded at the statement before Litchfield continued. “His behavior tonight is unpardonable. I will not tolerate his threats. I have put up with that mongrel far too long, and it is past time that I do something.”

  “Well, Father, you and I have disagreed on more than one thing tonight, but now I could not agree with you more. Something, indeed, must be done.”

  Chapter 9

  The ladies of Sloane Street entertained the Granville gentlemen most mornings since the announcement of the betrothal, and the last few mornings saw three additional members added to the regular party: Viscount Ashly and Lady Rachel along with her companion, Mrs. Lattimore. If anyone thought the absence of Lady Kathleen was odd, they never said, likely due to the fact no one particularly wanted her there. Jane had received, and gladly accepted, an invitation to call on Lady Blanchard and her younger daughter earlier that week. After thirty minutes of continually being criticized and corrected, she developed a genuine dislike for both ladies as well as a deep sympathy for Wesley.

  The visit ended with an invitation to stay at their townhouse during the finalization of the wedding plans, which Jane politely declined, stating she could not possibly leave her aunt and sister. She could tell they were both displeased and perhaps offended, but Jane knew she would be surrounded by people who felt her to be inferior for the rest of her life. Until she became the earl’s wife, she wanted to be with the people who loved her.

  As she looked around the room, Jane realized how she had come to treasure the time in the mornings before the earl’s arrival. A conviviality had grown between the young people, and Jane felt her affection grow for each of the Granville men, perhaps most for the one who challenged her sister at every opportunity, as he was currently doing.

  “I do not believe you, Miss Amy. I must require confirmation from your sister. Miss Dawson, is it true that your sister rides as if the devil is behind her?”

  “That is not what I said,” Amy’s annoyed voice interrupted before Jane could respond. “I said if I were allowed to ride as fast as I wanted, then the devil himself could not catch me.”

  “What of this boast, Miss Dawson? Surely your sister exaggerates.”

  “I am afraid not, Mr. Hale. It is only Amy’s consideration for my poor nerves that keeps her restrained.”

  “Jane’s nerves and my father’s slow horses.”

  Julian laughed. “I am still skeptical. I must see this show of horsemanship myself.”

  “The stables of Litchfield House are at your disposal, Miss Amy. Whenever you wish to prove my cousin wrong, please send word, and I will bring our fastest horses to you.”

  “Do not encourage her, Viscount Ashly. She will break her neck.”

  “Ah, you see, Wesley. Her own sister lacks faith in her abilities. I will win this wager in the end.”

  “My money is still on Miss Amy. As the eldest, Miss Dawson’s duty to protect her sister influences her hesitation.”

  “But as a gentleman, Wesley, you should be concerned for Miss Amy’s safety.”

  “Miss Amy has declared her competency, and a gentleman should never disagree with a lady.”

  Amy beamed in pride at Julian, who could not help but laugh. “Very well, when shall we plan this demonstration?”

  Wesley allowed the others to carry the conversation while he turned to Jane, who was seated next to him. “Are you truly concerned, Miss Dawson? I would not wish to upset you.”

  Jane sighed. “Amy is skilled on a horse. I am afraid, however, that she has yet to learn that she is not invincible.”

  “That must be a common trait of younger siblings.”

  They then both looked at Richard, one with curiosity and one with a slight blush.

  “Do you feel as protective as I do, then?”

  “If I ever attempted any overt act of defense, he would have my head. But that is the difference between men and women, I suppose: pride verses affection.”

  “Oh, I do not know. We probably feel those things in equal measure but act on them differently.”

  Wesley nodded. “And both those things, especially when felt deeply, can affect our sense of duty, making us act out of a sense of obligation.”

  Jane tilted her head as she appraised the viscount. “Yes. Yes, indeed.”

  “Do you not think, Miss Dawson, that there are times when one must put duty aside and act in a such a way that would constitute their own happiness? Must sacrifice always be part of life?”

  Jane looked at him for a long moment, wondering at his meaning. Remembering her feelings when she left Kathleen, Jane felt she should use this chance to provide encouragement. She touched his arm.

  “No, indeed.” She spoke with much feeling and watched his eyes soften as she continued. “One must consider one’s own felicity, for if one is not happy, how could those close to him be? When it comes to something like marriage, I believe more harm than good can come from acting solely out of obligation.”

  “Do you refer to my understanding with Kathleen?”

  Jane blushed. “Forgive me. I do not mean to interfere or offend.”

  Wesley touched her hand briefly, causing her to look up. His eyes were as stern as she had ever seen them, and the only word she could use to describe their look was protective. “You have done neither. But, Miss Dawson, if it is a bad idea for me to marry out of obligation, why is it not so for everyone?”

  * * *

  Richard, whose good mood had rapidly dissipated upon the arrival of his father, attended little of the conversation the rest of the morning. Litchfield had quickly drawn all mirth from the room and now sat with Jane in its farthest corner, obviously displeased with something. Richard had watched as a confused look settled upon her when she spoke to Wesley, but the hint of defiance that now graced her features had him more concerned. He had started to rise and interrupt their conversation but was saved the trouble by the arrival of one of Litchfield’s men. Richard recognized him as the one who had been following him, and wondered if the man had grown bored with his assignment of watching him make the trek to Sloane Street and then back to Julian’s nearly every day. Richard caught the man’s eye and smiled. He received a scowl in return.

  “Forgive the intrusion, m’lord, but your man arrived from Litchfield House with these missives. I assumed they must be urgent.”

  Litchfield stood and addressed Jane. “Forgive me, Miss Dawson. It must be urgent business, indeed, if my staff has deemed i
t necessary to interrupt me here.”

  Before Jane could answer, Litchfield grabbed the letters and retreated to the hall with his servant following. Those left behind looked at each other curiously. Richard looked to Wesley, expecting to see him staring at the door after Litchfield in worry. Instead, his gaze was leveled solely on Rachel with a look of guilt that had Richard thoroughly confused. All their attention was soon brought to the door as a very unsettled Litchfield returned.

  “Miss Dawson, Mrs. Carrington, I must beg your pardon. I have to leave for Kent right away.”

  “Is there a problem at the estate, Father?”

  Litchfield looked at Wesley and then held the letters out for all to see. “I received two missives. One, I am sorry to tell you, Lady Rachel, is from your father. He wrote to inform me he was departing London immediately. There has been a fire at his estate. The second letter was from my own steward, telling me of similar incidents at Litchfield Manor. Much of the forest along the west field has burned, and the orangery has been destroyed. He believes much of the livestock has been pilfered as well.”

  “Oh dear, I must go to my mother. She is sure to be upset by the news. Thank you for informing me, Lord Litchfield.”

  “You are distressed, Rachel. Allow me to accompany you to your mother’s.”

  “Wesley, I am afraid you need to come with me. I will need you to see to some things while I am gone, and I must give you instructions. Perhaps Julian and Richard can see to Lady Rachel.”

  “There is no need to bother over me. Mrs. Lattimore and I can see to ourselves. Jane, I am sorry to cut short our visit.”

  Jane took Rachel’s hands in her own. “I am sorry for your family’s troubles. I do hope that nothing is as bad as it now appears.”

  Rachel smiled at Jane and finished her goodbyes while Litchfield hurriedly did the same. Taking advantage of his father’s distraction, Richard walked to stand beside Wesley.

  “There are tenants in the west field, are there not?”

  “Yes, but Father said just the woods have burned. If that is the case, then no one should have been harmed.”

  “I can understand pilfering livestock. It is dangerous, but if one’s family is hungry, it is worth the risk. But why burn woods or destroy a greenhouse?”

  “I would wager that Father and Lord Blanchard have made enemies in Parliament. It was likely all done by a political rival.”

  Richard was unconvinced. “Perhaps.”

  “They will both likely be gone for some time, perhaps even up until the wedding.”

  “Less than three weeks to calm tenants’ fears, find the culprit, regrow a forest, and restore an orangery?”

  “If one is determined…” Wesley paused and turned to look Richard straight in the eyes. “Much can be accomplished in that time.”

  Wesley walked away and joined their father. Richard looked at the pair, who was so similar that at times he had trouble determining any difference between them, hoping that the niggling feeling in his chest was correct and that only one of them was a beast.

  Chapter 10

  “Mrs. Carrington, my cousin sends his regrets along with some of his best horses. Business keeps him occupied this morning, but he graciously sends his acceptance to your invitation to dinner tomorrow. He will escort Lady Rachel and Mrs. Lattimore. It is sure to be quite an interesting party.”

  Richard smiled at Julian’s enthusiasm. In the last weeks, he had watched his cousin change from the dour workhorse who was full of regret to the man he was becoming when his father died. Though Julian did not trust easy nor surround himself with acquaintances, when he was around those with whom he was comfortable, he was engaging and open to any enjoyment.

  “That is wonderful news. We will have a full table.”

  “Will you be riding out with us today, ma’am?”

  “Oh no, I have never been fond of horses. I must trust each of you to ensure the other behaves.”

  “I cannot speak for the captain here, but I am sure the rest of us will be able to mind our manners.”

  Richard rolled his eyes and turned to Jane and Amy. “Ladies, before Julian graces us with any more of his wit, shall we be on our way?”

  Amy smiled broadly. “Yes, let us go. I have been anticipating this outing since the idea was first introduced.”

  Richard returned her smile. He genuinely liked Amy, but having noticed Julian’s increasing regard for her, he was concerned about her youthful naiveté and lack of experience outside of her small village. Richard did not know if she could manage life as a Granville, but if she kept the smile on Julian’s face, then he would love her like a sister.

  “Let us hurry away then.” He held out his arm for her, and as she took it, he looked back at Julian with a satisfied smirk. When they made it outside, however, Julian deftly managed to be in the right place when Amy needed assistance onto her horse.

  “Well, Miss Amy, shall we outrun the devil?”

  Amy huffed. “That would be far too easy, Mr. Hale. This morning, I shall pretend my mother is behind me.”

  Amy took off in a gallop toward the lone path in the wooded area across the street from the Carrington home. Before following, Julian threw a look of triumph in Richard’s direction. Richard chuckled as he turned to help Jane mount.

  “You should not tease your cousin so.”

  Richard climbed upon his own horse, and they set off for the same trail, but at a much more leisurely pace. “I must disagree with you, madam. Teasing Julian is one of life’s great pleasures.”

  “Well, you should not try to keep him from my sister then.”

  One corner of his mouth raised in a teasing smile. “Are you matchmaking, Miss Dawson?”

  “No! But he does pay her particular attention.”

  Richard’s only response was to raise his eyebrows.

  “Does he speak to you about her?”

  “Now, Miss Dawson, you know that I cannot tell you that.”

  A bit crestfallen, Jane looked down at her reins.

  Richard sighed. “He has confided nothing in me regarding your sister. But, he does pay her marked attention, and Julian is not one to trifle with a young lady.”

  Jane smiled and nodded.

  “You love your sister very much.”

  “How could I not? Amy is everything kind and good.” She paused and sighed. “But she does speak too freely at times.”

  “Do you mean what she said about your mother?”

  Jane nodded. “However she feels, she should not speak so in front of anyone who is not family or does not understand our circumstances.”

  “I am hurt, Miss Dawson. Are we not to be family?”

  Richard’s smile faded when he saw a look of panic flash briefly across her features. “I do not think the entirety of my future family would appreciate hearing our defects laid out as succinctly as Amy is want to do.”

  They stopped, and Richard reached over to take her horse’s reins so that she would look at him.

  “You are right to keep your weaknesses from my father. He does not tolerate them. But, please, do not think you must hide them from me.”

  Jane was silent for a long moment and then smiled teasingly, sending warmth through Richard’s entire body.

  “We are to be friends, then?”

  “Yes, and the dearest of relations. I am most determined in this.”

  “Then you must call me Jane.”

  “Jane.” His voice was almost a whisper as his fingers moved slowly toward hers, stopping just before they touched. “And I must be Richard.”

  Jane nodded and looked ahead to see Amy and Julian racing in the distance. “It is hard for Amy. She only sees things how they are now. She knows we have little money and must economize. She knows Mama has trouble subduing her emotions, and Papa escapes from his responsibilities as much as possible.”

  “It sounds as if she has reasons for bitterness.”

  “Perhaps, but I cannot indulge in the same blame that she does. You see, sh
e and I have different memories. One may not think that three years is much distance between sisters, but it causes quite a difference in perception, I believe. She does not remember the good times as much as I do.”

  “You were not always without money?”

  “My father was never as rich as yours, of course, and Mama and Papa were never ideal parents, but we did have one thing that made everything good. We had hope. We had a brother, David. He was a wonderful boy, bright and happy. It was impossible not to smile when he was with you. He died of a fever when he was eight years old.”

  “I am so sorry.”

  Jane smiled sadly and looked down. “He was my best friend. We were always together, sharing some sort of mischief. We were only a year apart, so it was natural that we would be playmates. We were always leaving poor Amy behind, much to her displeasure, but she was far too little to keep up with us. She barely remembers him, but I miss him terribly. Not only was he a joy, but he was also Papa’s heir. There was no need to think about the future because David was the future. When he died, our entire world changed.”

  Grief filled her entire countenance, and Richard felt the need not only to comfort her but also to be her comfort. He nudged his horse closer and kept is voice gentle. “Was he the only one who contracted the fever?”

  “No, I had it as well. Amy and Meg were sent to the village while David and I were ill. I do not remember much, just being very hot and then very cold and hurting all over. I suffered through for ten days, and when I woke, they told me David had died. My heart broke, and I would not leave the nursery for several days. I kept waiting for him to come back. When I finally opened the door, I saw that everything was different.

  “Mama had always been a little nervous, but the fits she experienced after David’s death overpowered her. She began taking a tonic, which left her…altered. Papa just disappeared. I have long spaces in my memories where he is missing. I do not know where he was, but he was not with us. The estate suffered in his absence.”

  “Were you and your sisters all alone?”