Surrendering the Past Read online

  “Oh, my talents are nothing to the other ladies’ in the room, I am sure, but I will do as bid.”

  Jane waited for a reply, but Wesley’s eyes were first focused on his brother and then turned to the portrait above them. At last, his eyes made their way back to her. Jane thought she detected a hint of sadness in his features. His eyes were indeed like his mother’s. In an instant, however, he was by her side, offering her his arm. She smiled politely, took it, and then glanced at Richard. He drew closer and offered his arm as well.

  Jane smiled broadly then, a genuine smile of comfort and security as she walked arm in arm with the two giant but beautiful men with the same haunted, sad eyes and assured gaits. She almost thought all would be well in her new home until her betrothed caught her in his sight, his eyes threatening to cut the three of them down in his cold gaze.

  * * *

  “You have been quiet this evening, Wesley.”

  “I am merely enjoying the performances, sir.”

  “Yes, the ladies have been exceptional this evening. You have found quite a treasure in Lady Kathleen. You were wise to wait for her. Now, tell me, what do you think of my Miss Dawson?”

  “She is lovely, but I admit to being surprised by the announcement, sir. I had no idea you were looking for a wife.”

  “Neither did I until I saw her. You must not fear that we will take attention away from your own betrothal. You will be able to announce it soon.”

  Wesley nodded. “I cannot recall any previous acquaintance with her family. How did you come to meet Miss Dawson?”

  “You will think me a foolish old man when I tell you I saw her in the street one day and was instantly enamored. I made inquiries and found her on Sloane Street, staying with an uncle. He is a gentleman, but a poor one. A scholar of some sort. You need not worry that the connection will be maintained after the wedding.”

  “And her parents?”

  “They will be in Surry, and Jane will reside at Litchfield Manor. She will rarely have the opportunity to see them.”

  “You plan to reside mostly in the country, then?”

  “She will, yes. I cannot have her long exposed to the roughness of London. She is quite delicate as you can see.”

  Wesley took a long drink of his wine. “Father, forgive me, but are you sure you wish to do this? She is young with very little to recommend her. Her dowry will do nothing for Litchfield, and her connections are far beneath you. You can imagine what your peers will say.”

  “They will say exactly what I mean for them to say. Everyone in this town should know not to question my judgment.”

  Wesley nodded once more and the gentlemen joined the soft applause for Jane as she finished her piece on the harp. They watched as Richard stepped forward to help her off the chair and then guide her to the piano where she and Amy were to begin a duet. Amy played as Jane sang, and her soft soprano voice washed over Wesley, calming the ire his father had stirred and bringing with it the memory of another voice that had soothed him just as easily. The comfort did not last long, however, as he felt his father adjust his stance beside him.

  “Your brother has not changed these last years. I had hoped the army would make something of him, but he is still proud and wild. I could learn nothing of his whereabouts. For all I know, he could have been laying up with some French whore rather than attending his duties.”

  “Perhaps whatever he does for the Crown is secret. We are not privy to everything that goes on in the realm.”

  “I am. Now that he is back in London, I shall have to see he is watched. I will not have him mar the Litchfield name any further.”

  “Should you not see to your betrothed, sir? You would not have her think you are neglecting her.”

  Litchfield smiled. “Of course. It has been too long since I have had to please a young lady. I must go and practice my charm.”

  Wesley watched him approach Jane as she finished singing and noticed the immediate change in her expression. The serenity of her song was replaced with the mask she had donned during dinner. Behind her assured expression, he could see too well that the poor girl was terrified and that she had no idea that it was with good reason.

  Chapter 4

  Though Julian would like to have discussed the events of the evening, the weight in Richard’s stomach did not allow for conversation when they returned from Litchfield House. Sleep did not come easy, and he recalled every word spoken and every look given during the night. There was a sweetness about Jane when they spoke in his mother’s sitting room, an innocence that Litchfield would break before they were long married. He learned long ago that one did not survive the Granvilles by being good. Only hardness and a determination to endure or, in Wesley’s case, a willingness to submit would ensure escape from Litchfield’s wrath. Something in her air, however, told him Jane would not submit easily and that, perhaps, worried him most of all.

  He was still contemplating everything the next morning as he stared into his tea. He was still in no mood to talk, but unfortunately, Julian was.

  “You have not yet told me what you think of your father’s announcement last night. What is he about marrying this girl? There is no advantage to be had that I can see, and your father is all about having the advantage.”

  Richard’s eyes moved from his tea to look at Julian with disbelief. “Why would any man take such a young and beautiful woman as a wife?”

  “Yes, but your father? If he is the amorous sort, he hides it well.”

  “He hides many things, but no, I do not think he is enamored with Miss Dawson.”

  Julian waited for him to continue his thoughts, but Richard’s gaze returned to his tea. Julian was ready again to walk into the silence and make his cousin speak his thoughts when the butler interrupted them.

  “Viscount Ashly to see you, sir.”

  Julian nodded as Wesley entered and waited until Alfred left the room to greet him.

  “Good morning, Cousin. I assume you are here to discuss your father. Perhaps you will be more talkative than your brother.”

  Julian motioned for Wesley to help himself to the breakfast display, and after he poured a cup of tea, Wesley sat and glared at Richard.

  “I admit I expected to have to help calm you this morning, Brother.”

  “Perhaps you have been given a false impression of my disposition.”

  Wesley shook his head. “We were raised together, and whether you care to admit it or not, there is no one who understands you better. You are seething and not just because of the betrothal, but from the displays to which we were privy.”

  Richard pushed his chair back and rose, walking to the window in an attempt to hide his reactions to his brother’s words. He was angry that Wesley would presume to know his character after so many years spent apart. Even before Richard’s departure from England the brothers had been separated as each had felt a duty to a different parent. What made Richard angrier, however, was that Wesley was right. He was seething and did not want to talk about it. He was afraid it would lead to an admission that was as ridiculous as it was frightening. He had looked into Jane Dawson’s eyes the night before and saw his own need to run reflected back at him. She felt trapped, and the people who should be protecting her were rejoicing over her newly formed chains.

  Instead of answering, Richard chose to challenge and turned to Wesley, leveling a cold glare. “What does it signify if I am angry? I will be leaving in a month’s time. You, and if I am not mistaken, Lady Kathleen, will be living with them. You will be privy to many of the goings on, a witness to our father’s behavior toward his wife. Are you prepared for this? What will you do when Miss Dawson is no longer a blushing bride, but wears the truth of her husband’s favor like a shroud?”

  “I had hoped that we could figure out a solution to this problem together.”

  “Because we were always able to in the past? No, Litchfield is your problem.”

  “We are still family, Richard. Does blood mean nothing to you?”
r />   “I suppose when you have seen so much of it spilled, blood seems to be as much a nuisance as a necessity.”

  Wesley, who had stood during the exchange and leaned on his fists against the table, returned his brother’s angry glare for some moments before softening and turning toward Julian.

  “I will leave you to his good company, Cousin. Thank you for the tea.”

  Wesley left the room before Julian could respond. He rose to refill his cup.

  “Well, that was more drama than I tend to prefer at breakfast.”

  “I apologize, Jules. I cannot seem to hold my temper around him.”

  “Who knows what you could do if you actually tried. Wesley is not the only one who understands you. You did not want to have the conversation, so you provoked an argument. What is it you do not want to say?”

  “Nothing at all, but at the moment, I wish to tell you to fetch your hat.”

  Julian raised his eyebrows in question.

  “I am going to pay a call on my future mother-in-law. And you are coming with me.”

  “Why am I coming with you?”

  “Because, my good man, if left to your own devices, you would not call on Miss Amy.” Richard leaned toward his cousin and spoke low. “You are not the only one blessed with understanding.” He laughed and slapped Julian’s shoulder before leaving the room, not doubting for a moment that his cousin was right behind him.

  * * *

  Amy’s soft admonishment to rise and greet the day only made Jane retreat farther under the covers. The threat to tickle her until she cried, however, had the desired effect, and Jane begrudgingly sat up on the pillows.

  “You are a mystery to me, dear sister. How can you be so cheerful after the horrors of last night?”

  A gay laugh filled the room, and Jane could not help but smile. Amy could laugh through torture, which was exactly what the previous evening had been.

  “If we allowed the discomfort of a night’s dinner party follow us into the next day, we could never hold our heads up. Besides, I know something you do not.”

  Jane arched an eyebrow and tried not to smile. “Amy, have you been listening at doors again?”

  Returning the gesture with more defensiveness than mischief, Amy replied, “I did overhear something, but it was not on purpose. Uncle and Father’s voices were so loud Mama could have heard them through her wine-induced stupor.”

  “Were they arguing?”

  “Yes.”

  Jane closed her eyes. “About me?”

  “I am afraid so. Uncle Carrington is angry at Father for consenting to your engagement.”

  “But it was my choice to accept the earl.”

  “Yes, but our uncle feels it is too great a sacrifice.” Amy took Jane’s hand. “You do not love him.”

  “People do not marry for love, Amy. There are other things to consider. Mama’s manner is vulgar and embarrassing, but her words are true. This marriage will bring good things for our family. We have nothing, Amy, only our charms. But, like Mama says, you and Meg stand a much better chance of marrying well with this connection.”

  Amy sighed as she stood and walked to the dressing table. Picking up a brush, she returned to the bed and motioned for her sister to move forward. “It is ridiculous, is it not? As I am now, I am hardly worth noticing, but if a marriage to me might bring an invitation to an earl’s party, then I am suddenly quite attractive!”

  Jane smiled as her sister unfastened her braid and began to untangle her blonde locks. She would miss this time with Amy dearly. “You are a wonder no matter whose party you attend. It will take an equally wonderful man to appreciate you. You will now be in more varying society and more likely to find that man. Two things will be required, though: Mama will have to be given a heavy dose of laudanum before she goes out, and you, dear sister, must not provoke handsome gentlemen into arguments.”

  Amy blushed. “I do not know what you mean.”

  Jane snorted and turned to face her sister. “Yes, you do.”

  “I did not provoke anything. I will have you know that if I was, in any way, petulant toward a certain gentleman, it was his fault entirely. He is almost unbearably handsome, rich, intelligent, and showed signs of a keen wit. Of course, I had to be argumentative lest I began to feel ridiculously inferior. The truth of our vast difference in situation must never be acknowledged if I am to maintain any dignity at all.”

  Jane’s eyebrow again rose and was joined with an impish half-grin. “I suppose he must have found some charm in your impertinence. He has given you a pet name, has he not? Something from Shakespeare?”

  Amy gave Jane a look that let her know she was not fooled by her innocent tone.

  “What was it, Caterina, Catherine? Yes, that is it. He called you Kate. You love Shakespeare, so that must have been quite a compliment.”

  “You know very well he called me a shrew!”

  Jane laughed. “I can tell by the look on your face that you were not at all offended. You know you deserved it.”

  Amy fell back on the pillows. “Oh, Jane! I am a shrew. Between Mama and me, what must the earl’s family think of us?”

  “I do not think you made a bad impression. Mr. Hale seemed to be amused by your conversation.”

  “You mean he was laughing at me.”

  “Perhaps a little.”

  Amy rose and handed Jane the brush so she might finish her own hair. “All of this has distracted me and threatens to sour my mood. I had something to tell you, remember?”

  “I am listening.”

  “Father is taking Mother back to Surry after breakfast. They will remain there until the wedding.”

  Jane’s eyes grew wide with hope. “Oh? But will you be staying?”

  “I am. Uncle convinced Father it would be better for you if Aunt and I were the ones assisting you with preparations. I do not think he has told Mama yet. The house is too quiet.”

  “Oh, thank God. I am probably a terrible daughter to be saying so, but I am so happy she is leaving. I simply cannot bear her with any good humor the way I used to.”

  “We are terrible together then, for I have never been able to bear her. Oh, Jane! What am I to do without you?”

  “Amy, would you consider coming with me? After I am married, I mean. Will you come live with me?”

  “Are you certain? Would you not wish to establish yourself as a wife first?”

  “No, it will be easier for me if you are there.”

  “Very well. If Father allows it, I will come.”

  Jane sighed with relief. “Thank you. I will discuss it with Lord Litchfield this morning. Oh, I feel so much better now. Perhaps Meg can come in a few years, as well.”

  “It would be good for her to spend time out of Surry and away from Mama. Our mother just cannot understand Meg’s gentle but inquisitive nature. She needs more varying society so her great gifts might grow.”

  “You see; that is precisely what I want for both of you. Mama will calm once she knows our situations are secure, and Papa will not have to worry over money as much once I am gone. This marriage will bring about good things for our family, I am sure of it.”

  * * *

  “Surely, my lord, you know you are the only one who can convince him to change his mind. I tried and failed. Marriage to this girl will do the family no good.”

  Blanchard laughed. “Come, son. You are a man of the world. You know exactly why he is marrying her. It is true she brings nothing but her charms, but you have to admit, her charms are considerable. She is a gentlewoman. He could not in good conscious make her his mistress. At least this way he also has a hostess.”

  In a burst of unguarded anger, Wesley rounded on the man. “His good conscious has nothing to do with it. A mistress has some control over their circumstances. She can seek another situation after her contract ends. A wife has no such freedom.”

  “Wesley, I am going to assume your derelict brother kept you up drinking last night and that is the reason for your ill tempe
r. I do not know how long he will be staying in London, but you will do well to remember your father’s great displeasure with him. Do not let Richard distract you from what you are supposed to be. Your father has great plans for you, son. He has been waiting for you to be ready to learn more about his affairs so that you can take the reins soon. I believe he is growing impatient, but your betrothal to my daughter has shown him you are prepared to do what is best.”

  “I believe I am well-prepared to manage the estate. I have been training for it my entire life.”

  “You have been training for much more. Your father’s interests are varied and extensive and yours for the taking. I remember you as a lad, almost always by his side. His shadow, or more like his twin.”

  “He did make sure I was with him much of the time. Most of the time. He was center of everything, so large and in control that there was no room for anything else.”

  “You did not need anything else. You still do not. You are Viscount Ashly, heir to the Earl of Litchfield, born to great prestige and power. Stop your sulking. Let your father have his fun. It does not concern you overly much. This girl will not embarrass you.”

  “Were you not embarrassed for the lot of us last night when her mother behaved as she did?”

  “Your father and I are old friends. There is no embarrassment to be had between us. As far as any future incidents, well, you know Litchfield would not allow that to happen. There will be no occasion to socialize with her family in the future, I am sure. Except, perhaps, for the sister.”

  The desire in the man’s voice was undisguised and Wesley suddenly felt the need for a bath.

  “I believe I have overstayed my welcome. Thank you for the advice, sir. I will keep everything you said in the front of my mind, I assure you.”

  “Good, good, be sure you do. Especially that part about your brother. I do believe he grows wilder every time I see him.”

  To this, Wesley said nothing and merely nodded his head in reply. As he closed the study door, his mind was heavy with images of the past that Blanchard’s words brought back to life, and so he was surprised to hear a soft voice at his side.